Today, I watched someone cry on the train. Quietly, without the ragged sobs. Her staggered tear drops were wrenched by the swipe of trembling fingers. She practices handphone etiquette and nonchalantly plays games on the console. She bruises her leaking nose and pretends that none on the train can see her breaking heart. I do.

I have no idea what comfort I could bring to her by my stoic acknowledging of her pride for there is no shame in tears. I take the vacant seat by her side and silently send good thoughts to her. I catch the eye of the lady opposite us, who takes out a torn packet of tissues. She dusts off its crooked edges and wraps the vulnerable whites in its purple plastic protection. She glares at me and I feel accused in her eyes. Does she not understand that all I want to do is put my arms around the crying lady in the seat next to me and tell her everything is going to be okay. But I don’t think it’s appropriate to give strangers hugs on the train.

Giggle and jostle. Two jolly little Japanese Girls with Hello Kitty fans whisper in each others ears and giggle in response. We never suspect that their words might be mean when their innocence shines as brightly as this.

We all feel the tension, the Chinese couple is having an arguement. One by the door, one by the pole. The boy types sorry on his phone and shows it to the girl. She reads it and ignores him.

She suspects hat he’s been cheating on her, he passes the phone number of the suspected girl to her and urges her to call and discover his innocence. She glares nastily at him and we watch in amusement as he defiantly stares back with an eyebrow cocked up. She grabs the phone out of his hand and spears the call button. There is no answer.

A series of quick excuses form inside the boy’s mind as he grabs her arm, she snatches her arm away and turns to face the door. We stop at a station and we watch as she storms towards the stairs as the boy chases after her.

 

Thomas Wynn And The Believers - It's Alright (Acoustic) from Zach Beckler on Vimeo.

I am floating on an ocean of dreams.
They buoy my weightless body across leagues of salt water.
Moving through, passing through the clouds that bathe my eyes.
I am blessed. The sunlight flickers a milky way of diamonds near my face.
I wave my arms and create ripples in this quiet crystal.
No worries, no events, none but peace and content.
I levitate and paddle near the edge of the world.
Lessons I have learned.
Yes, they don't matter anymore.
Everything anyone has said about happiness,
Must be true.
Therein lacks personality, lacks consciousness.
Nothing but the calm breath,
A connection to the world, to existence.
I am aware.
I am liberated.
I am here.
I am now.
I am living.
I am creating.
I am seeing.
I am listening.
I am tasting.
I am smelling.
I am feeling.
I am.
I am.
I am.
I.

Need to bitch about the 2009 winner for GPA, to think it is another sob story about a 'lost in translation' government scholar on the way to Tronheim. The ending was so anticlimatic, I went for a poop immediately after that.
His characterization was really good, and no surprise that his language was really profound so was his sentence structure. But really? This got first prize? I was expecting something with a profound life message, I was expecting to see unending beauty in what he wrote, something that will make me rave about his use of language. Nope. Nadda. Nothing. Maybe it was too profound for me to understand, I just couldn't sympathise with this passive character, who coincidentally meets another Singaporean girl on the train, the resulting banter sounded forced. I remember another short story years back that one the GPA, about a Singaporean who gets enamored with this girl in thailand I think, and then he finds out she's like a drug mule. NOW that's a story. Moral complexities and twisted characters with no easy way out. The ending was really good too. He meets her for a last time and realises that that kind of life was not for him no matter how much he loved that girl. Not an easy choice or ending but resoundly satisfying. The ending of Tronheim had the main character at first pretending to sleep and then finally falling asleep while the girl cries her eyes out, if that doesn't say passivity, slothness and insensitivity. I don't know what does.

One more exam paper to go, then I'm in the clear.
Finally.
Here's something to soothe the ears.